The new songbook is ready, in time for next week – Wednesday, September 25. It has 30 new songs and sundry changes to old ones, so steel yourself for surreptitious office printing or flagrant tablet downloading.

The 218-page book features such marvels as The Bare Necessities, Brimful of Asha, Cecilia, Closing Time, Crazy (Seal and Gnarls Barkley), Dancing in the Dark, Heroes, Mad World, Under the Bridge and Zombie. If this weren’t enough to persuade you, it will also have wildly different page numbers, so be ready or risk being left behind like this penguin.